It has been hard to blog since the 20th, after Bridget and Danny’s party. Getting ready for the arrival of my non-L.A-based family, finishing with presents, wrapping, sending, checking the list thrice and all the while working to remain calm and centered as I watch my partner (Richard) doing the opposite—that is to say, waiting until the last minute to shop, scrambling to have someone else wrap at the last minute, putting together what turned out to be a sensational compilation of Christmas songs.

On the 21st, my winter solstice birthday, I received many moving calls, cards and wishes including on my blog and Facebook. The kids came over for awhile, Richard surprised me with a lovely green marzipan cake, I blew all the candles out (there were only 7 instead of 72 but I bet I could have blown all 72 out as well) Actually, I think I already posted photos of that celebration.

I forgot to write about the Christmas tree, You gotta understand, I am a Xmas tree nut case….In New Mexico we have a 14 foot tree (plastic cause Vanessa insisted and, you know what, it works anyway) and 100s of decorations that have become my friends over the years. Amazing decorations. I think the importance I place on the tree and its décor is because my father did. He wasn’t an ebullient man but at Christmas time, when it came to the tree, he poured his heart and soul into it. Richard, on the other hand, hasn’t celebrated Christmas with a tree for something like 19 years..no tree, no garlands, much less kids and grands gathering. So we went out to pick a tree. He came with me. NO MAN HAS EVER COME WITH ME TO PICK A TREE! I picked one and then he found a better one…the one we bought. We had shopped in Santa Fe for ornaments (There are 2 Xmas Shops there that are open all year and have the best stuff). We found there the most unique twinkling lights with seven different twinkling patterns, We discovered lots of musical instrument ornaments, horns, trumpets, piano, guitar, flutes, oboe, a jukebox, piano, Elvis and a base drum with “Rock On!” written on it. Little did I know this would become the theme of our Xmas tree.

Then, back in L.A. when we got the tree, we also found collector handmade 45 single records from the 50s and 60s made into ornaments and even more instruments. We got home and put up the tree, got the lights on including my special (brought from Santa Fe) heart lights. They are about 2 inches across, bright red and are the best accent ever. They make a real difference mixed in with the small white and other color lights. Richard then asked me to remove all the price tags from the newly bought decorations while HE HUNG THE MUSICAL ONES. When I called Simone to tell her what was happening she said she couldn’t believe that I had relegated the hanging to Richard. I’m the one who uses a laser beam every year to direct my main Xmas helper, Tommy, perched way up on a tall ladder to move a particular ball 2 inches one way or another. It takes at least a full day and a half to finished my trees…along with wine and mellow jazz. That’s Tommy and my annual drill. So this year I’m taking price tags off and Richard’s doing the hanging!! He was working on his music theme, hanging the 45s and various instruments just so in relation to Elvis, the “Rock On” base drum and the hip Santa with Ray bans on a motorcycle. When he’d finished and I looked up from my manual labors, I saw that he had created the theme all right, but it was all clumped at the center of the front of the tree and everywhere else was mostly bare. “Richard,” I said, “You can’t leave it like that. Your theme is fabulous but there needs to be decorations all over the tree. Look at all the empty areas!.” “No, this is fine,” he replied. BUT, knowing we wanted it to be a copacetic tree trimming event, he let me decorate all the tree. I even bought more very special balls and when I had finished he said he thought it was the most beautiful Xmas tree he had even seen…”By our powers combined!” said he and it was true. We did it together and although there were times when we were each outside our comfort zone we made it work. Ben McCarthy, Richard’s assistant, who has lived here for 18 years but worked with him for 22 or so, said it was the best Christmas he’d ever had.

On the 23rd, we had a party (photo in a separate post) that morphed from what I had suggested be an intimate gathering of family and closest of friends—singing Christmas carols—that sort of thing, Into something MUCH BIGGER, but that’s for another blog. I am one who plans in advance and has everything worked out down to the last detail. Not Richard. So for me, the days leading up to the party meant trying to manage my stress level, not get mad or impatient and trust that Richard knew what he was doing. …He did.

The party day, the 23rd, Lulu ad Nathalie arrived, Lulu from Tucson and Nathalie from my ranch –so the entire extended family was here.

Xmas eve we all went out to a great pizza place together with Tom (Hayden, my ex) and his fabulous wife, Barbara Williams and their son, Liam, who is Malcolm and Viva’s age and they all get along great…as long as we don’t try too hard to define who is a brother as opposed to an uncle.

Xmas day Vanessa and the grandkids, Lulu, Nathalie all came over to Richard’s to open presents and then, as evening drew nigh, we went to Troy and Simone’s home where they cooked their first Xmas dinner—for 21 people. Besides all my immediates, there were Shirlee Fonda (my stepmother) her partner Rob Wolders, Bridget, Oliver and Danny, Troy’s father, Tom Hayden, his wife Barbara and their son Liam, Richard’s roommate at University of Michigan, Joe Allen and his wife Annette Tapert Allen and her son, Nick, Paula Weinstein and Hannah. Troy and Simone turned their yard into a magical kingdom with hanging fairy lights and ornaments and they put couches outside (and many heaters) and it was a grand and historic event. It was Troy’s first tree, in their own house. To top things off, Troy made 3 kinds of ice cream…Vanilla, peppermint and apricot and, I tell you, all three were to die for. He reminds me so much of my father who also loved to make ice cream.

Richard, Me, Tulea with Richard's roommate at University of Michigan Joe Allen and his wife Annette Tapert Allen

So, now I will write about our party.

See you next time.

Dec 21st…Winter Solstice

This is the shortest day of the year. I happen to feel it is the coolest day to be born on. The short, dark solstice here but it’s bright and long at the other side of the earth where it’s summer. I wasn’t even blogging this time last year. I’ve come a long way Baby! It’s a perfect birthday day here in L.A. Cloudy… A wanna-stay-inside-by-the-fire kinda day. Vanessa and my grandkids are on their way over. Troy will come in a little while. It feels good to have them all here. Lulu and Nathalie arrive Wednesday.

Last night was closing night for “Baby, It’s You” at the Pasadena Playhouse. What a wonderful theatre that is!!! The play will reopen at some point this winter in some new out-of-town theatre. Here are some pictures I took of the closing party last night.

Richard and me with some 'Baby, It's You' cast members...left to right: Erica Ash, Paulette Ivory, Meegan Hollowat and Crystal Star Knighton

Lyndon and the famed acting teacher, Ivana Chubbuck

Choreographer, Brigitta Mutrux, opposite her husband, Floyd Mutruz, the play's co-writer and director with Jerry Katell in the middle.

Me with Geno Henderson and Julliette

Malcolm, Troy, Viva and Tulea

I would have sent this sooner but had no internet access….so, better late than never. Bridget and Danny give an annual Christmas party each one with a theme. This year was Cuba and there was a fantastic full Cuban band. Many people wore costumes. We did a minimal job on costumes but had fun anyway. Vanessa and my grandchildren just got in from Atlanta in time for the party and to see their cousin Oliver.

The neon sign over the door joining Fonda and Elfman.

Bridget and Richard

Danny Elfman with Richard

Troy and Rob

Bridget Fonda and her son, Oliver

Troy dancing madly with Simone

Danny Elfman playing drum with the fantastic cuban band

Danny Elfman playing drum with the fantastic cuban band

Danny Elfman playing drum with the fantastic cuban band

Danny Elfman playing drum with the fantastic cuban band

Richard talking to Vanessa while Malcolm waits patiently, back to camera

Rob Wolders, Troy and me

Rob Wolders, Troy and me

Me and Richard

The grandmothers at the party all assembled

AT&T were a no-show for the five days around the holiday in spite of our continuous cries for help and as a result I have had no internet access. Our offices in Atlanta were flooded when a pipe broke and we had to move into new digs and the internet was a non-happening. That’s why my blogs are all backed up. Oh well. When these things happen I just think that a couple of decades ago the technology didn’t even exist. So—can it really be all that important in the end?

We gathered at the ranch for a week and it was great fun. My friends, the Bickfords joined us over the weekend. They were with us on the Galapagos trip so it was a 6-month reunion of sorts…though I see Jewelle all the time when I’m in New York and she’s just joined the board of The Women’s Media Center. Emily and George’s daughters, Nathalie and Elizabeth somehow didn’t make the photos but they were a delicious addition to the otherwise adult gathering.

I took everyone into town on Saturday and in the fabulous store called Nathalie on Canyon Road we all put on cowboy hats to have our picture taken.

Left to right - Laura, Nick, Nat, Jewelle, Richard, Me

Nathalie, the beautiful owner of the store, with me and Jewelle

Me with Jewelle

It was a snowy weekend…very appropriate for Thanksgiving. We played games like this one where we each had a name attached to our foreheads and had to guess who we were. I was Beethoven but didn’t guess it. We also played a fabulously fun games called Taboo. Men against women. We won. Then we sang Christmas Carrols…a holiday tradition for my family although I’ll have to admit I always have to strong-arm the kids to join me (I grew up singing the old fashioned carrols and want my kids and grands to know there’s more to it than ”Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer,” tho that’s perfectly charming).

Laura Bickford, her sister Emily Lansbury and Nathalie Vadim

Richard who is trying to guess who he is (Marlene Dietrich)

Troy, George Lansbury, Nick Jarecki and Nat Bickford

Laura and Nick gave me a beautiful Mexican bowl with a couple of skeletons dancing on the bottom. I love it cause I love how Mexico isn't afraid of death

Richard's not the only one to wear my mug shot T-shirt!!

Today’s our last day and we’re going into town for some Christmas shopping. As always, I am slightly down cause I hate leaving.

See you next time.

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My son, Troy Garity, plays a disturbed porn star on Monday’s episode of “House”. Check it out.

click here for schedule (Fox.com)

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