I have a friend who says she has become a nerd cause she doesn’t go out or hang anymore with her buds. I told her I understood cause I was part nerd too and I realized that my blog gives the impression that I am always surrounded by excitement and people. But the fact is that I spend much time alone and cherish that. I don’t write about that cause what’s to say. “I am alone, thinking, reading, meditating…” Isn’t so interesting so my blog gives a false impression of my life. I identify with the bear who hibernates much of the time–in fact, has her cubs alone while she sleeps–but then needs to be social, playful. That’s me. I am alone a lot. I read a lot. I meditate. I love solitude. It’s different than loneliness. I am not always surrounded by excitement. That’s just what I blog about.

Anyway, I wanted to set that straight. I, too, am part nerd.

I’ll keep posting photos of WFD when they come in but, right now, I’m back at my ranch chilling and writing. That means I am very very happy cause this is where I so love to be. The weather has been perfect. Sunny and not too warm. Brisk is the word. I went riding for the first time in more than 2 years. Wasn’t able to before because my body hurt too much before and then right after all my surgeries—knee replacement, back etc I couldn’t risk it But I’m Baaaaack. It was so great. You have a different perspective on the land from horse back.

I’m about to go for a long walk with Tulea, my little dog. Then hunker down to write. I’ve fallen way behind in the writing department what with the World Fitness Day and the move to Los Angeles. I love people’s comments about my loft photos. I wasn’t sure the vibe of the place would translate but I guess it has. It is a most unusual place. I have been so happy there. It’s the kind of space where I could be happy all alone but could also entertain 70 or more people comfortably…and often did. Lofts are often so cold and angular and I really sought to do the opposite with mine—make it warm, curves and feminine. I had a golden retriever at the time and so the floors were her color and I’ve always been fond of soft pinks. The truth is, I was rehearsing to perform in Eve Ensler’s “The Vagina Monologues” at Madison Square Garden in 2000 when I came up with the concept for the womb-like entry. So there!

See you next time.

Time is flying. My blogging is getting really weird. One day it’s about violence against women in east Congo. The next it’s about my Xmas tree. Oh well. That is how my life is. Maybe everyone’s is like this—from one extreme to the mundane issues of life.

The tree is still up. Needles are dropping. What to do. Gotta get a new camera. Shucks. Trying to save money but the camera hasn’t shown up.  There’s an important (I think) new book out by Jerry Lembcke “Hanoi Jane: War, Sex, and Fantasies of Betrayal.” I will post more about that asap. It is amazing and sad to me that after all this time and all the evidence and testimony proving that the horrid rumors that spread about me in North Vietnam are NOT true, the letters and rumors continue. Some people are really sick.

Mostly I am writing. Or trying to. Life does get in the way but it’s usually pretty interesting. Like I just heard from Kathy Griffin who wants me and Gloria Steinem to do an episode with her. Also, Margaret Cho wants me to do her show and I adore both of them and want to but how can I do it all and get the book finished by end of April? Also, one challenge is that I keep getting new things to add to the chapters on love and sex in the third act. I gotta put those chapters to bed soon (pardon the pun) or I’ll never finish.

Also, there’s this humongous new idea that my G-CAPP will do May 1st in the Georgia Dome in Atlanta that will be carried through the country and maybe elsewhere. I’ll actually start another microsite to build awareness of what will happen and there are some new friends that are totally social media savvy that have me jumping out of my skin with excitement. Wait till you hear. Soon.

Gotta go to the hairdresser now cause there’s a fun party tonight. I’ll tell you about it tomorrow but no time to buy a camera so no photos. Ah well.

See you next time.

He won’t let me take it down. He so loves this tree. He thinks it is the most beautiful tree ever. He says he still is discovering new things I added to it that, in the hubbub of the Holiday, he missed. Frankly, I find this very adorable. I love that he is so romantic. I’ll change my mind when the needles start to fall off, though.

I am finally feeling slightly normal again. I love Christmas, but it is also stressful…being sure everyone’s okay, happy, presents, feeling like I never quite get it right. But now it’s the new year and I am breathing deeply again.AND, getting back to writing. I have 4 months. Yikes.

See you next time.

These are the solar panels that use the sun to heat my home

These are the solar panels that use the sun to heat my home

I am about to leave my ranch. I’d be sadder if I weren’t so rushed. I just finished a new chapter for my book about the third act, “Meeting New People When you’re Looking for Love.” and I’m hurrying to finish packing. But I couldn’t resist taking pictures of my solar panels. I’m trying to set a good example for other home owners in and around the Santa Fe area but, I fear, not enough are going solar—even in a sun-drenched place like this. They don’t even mandate grey water systems to conserve water!!! We have far too little of that resource. I drive a Prius and use all green light bulbs. So bully for me!!

As you can tell from my blog comments not to mention all the other internet activity circulating about the Toronto International Film festival protest letter that I signed along with 1500 or more friends and colleagues—there’s a lot of hatred spewing out there. I have not censored most of the hostile blog comments because I want to give space for the full range of voices. One of the hostile comments suggests that I wrote a follow up statement (released on the Huffington Post as well as on my last blog) because of pressure from Rabbi Marvin Hier with whom I met after I had begun composing my statement. What I said in my statement is true and I am not proud of it: I neglected to read the protest letter carefully enough. It was the outcry that ensued that caused me to study it very carefully. It was then that I saw that there were parts of it that I did not agree with. That is why I wrote my statement, not because I was pressured by anyone. It was a case of having to sit down, take a deep breath, go into a meditative state to clear away all the noise and zero in on my real feelings. I asked to meet with Rabbi Marvin Hier and others in the Jewish community to explain myself—why I was not taking my name off the protest letter but was issuing my own statement to clarify the things I didn’t agree with. I have learned a tremendous amount these last days and for that I am grateful. I’m also grateful for the outpouring of love and support..some from people I know, some from strangers. The statement of support from a group of Jews from Atlanta whom I don’t know made me cry. Then there’s the poem that Raeann McDonald wrote (it’s on this blog). She is the director of the retirement community in Oregon that Richard Perry’s mother, Sylvia, is a resident of. I got to know Raeann when she came to Los Angeles with Ms Perry. Such generosity and thoughtfulness!

One blog commenter asks how I maintain in the face of the hostility. It’s quite simply knowing who I am. That allows me to understand that what the attackers see is their problem and has nothing to do with me. I know my faults and try to own up to them but I also know I’m not what the venom-spouters think. It takes experience and age to stay confident in one’s reality—and to be free to admit when one has strayed from that reality, which was the case with some of the words in the TIFF protest letter.

Now I am back at my ranch, writing my book. There was a tremendous storm last night and the river is at least up a foot and very muddy. And—wonder of wonders at this early date—there’s a lot of snow on the mountains where the Santa Fe ski basin is. IT is soothing to be here and yesterday I took the most arduous hike since my knee was replaced. It was up the rocky slopes and through the fields that we cleared of trees 2 years ago. Lovely and diverse grasses and wildflowers now cover the ground that looked so barren after the trees were cut. I so adore the grasses here when the sunlight shines through them—so many varieties, most of them I know by name. The tree-cutting program is to conserve water, increase the grasses for the deer and reduce fire hazard. In this way, we restore the land to what it was before white Europeans arrived and began putting out forest fires. This high Chihuahuan desert used to be mainly savannah, not forest, and New Mexico simply doesn’t have the water to support an overgrowth of trees, much as I love them.

On that note, I’ll sign off. See you next time.