My ridiculous silence can sometimes be unbearable, and the tough realities of life that harsh confusion in the world brings. I went from being so mad at this one little church not so little a church that once made me so mad. As I wipe the scales from my eyes it was a church after my own heart really. The sacrifices they have given they had to have a higher power within there selves to be strong enough to make all of this happen. With the most respect, I see now what yall were called to do. I was looking at the Tv PBS cause I like that crazy shit. I saw this beautiful smart lady talking I said to myself is that Courtney’s Wife? Then I looked up on the interweb (Ole Cliff Coles word) and just typed in about this church. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. They have always been around me all my life and just because I didn’t understand it until now. This is how you make peace in the world and man has it not been messed up, I will keep silent until you tell me I have so much to say I really do forgive each and every one of you if you do not believe it we are what makes peace in our families. people will call anything a cult by not understanding it. We come here as a blanket Slate just like my grandmother said we could almost be programmable don’t try it. Don’t mess with my memory A lot of my complete and total hurt came from feeling like I was being left out of something big. I let my confusion get the best of me and I was pretty mad so mad at myself for the way I acted after the smoke cleared. I really do believe with all my heart our story could help so many Within our big ginormous nuclear family what we could share with the world would be amazing if we could let it. Just the simple things from not knowing. wow! we could solve the world’s problems. I understand why we were all so connected so together. I thought to myself the biggest problem in the world nothing else has done the damage as this has affected my life so very long and everyone in the world that don’t even notice it. The Worst thing is SECRETS are the reason for heartbreak people dying people going hungry the entire world collapsing around our feet and all we are hurting so bad in this life is the secrets and to help only one group is a shame as strange as this might be none of us wants to be in the middle of this we can’t play God. But we can help others to see what we see when I see sad lonely depressed people and my family going crazy doing awful things to everyone I have been in every emotion under the sun but it’s been worth it if we can help people find their way. Everyone in this world I believe wants. I really do hope you forgive me. This is the reason you guys had to do what you did amazingly perfect in my eyes. Jane you did great with your children. we will do great things you will see