THE NEW YEAR AND BEING 80

Me with grandkids on my birthday

Me with grandkids on my birthday

(I’m not old, I’m perennial)

It’s the last day of 2017 and I’ve been 80 for 10 days. Here’s what’s bad about being 80:
I can’t run
I can’t ski
It’s hard handwriting thank-you letters which is the polite way to do it
(osteoarthritis is responsible for all the above)

Here’s what’s good about being 80:
People are solicitous, asking if I want to sit.
They open bottles for me and let me go first.
I don’t get groped or harassed
I can fall back on “Well, I’m old,” to justify mistakes
My strong muscles which have always been there have suddenly become a remarkable anomaly to people who hug me
I’m viewed as an elder (even though I feel like a newbie)
I can look back over 8 decades and hence can remember:
When song birds and empty spaces were plentiful
When there were only 2 billion people in the world and consequently less stress, clean air and water, way less traffic, more opportunity to pull yourself up by your bootstraps
When it was safe for a kid to play alone, outside, in the street or the forest
All the challenges and tradegies that I survived (hence, I know I can again)
How to make lemons into lemonade & not sweat the small stuff

Also,
I’m less scared of embracing uncertainty
I’ve had time to learn to forgive and the time to reflect and learn from my experiences
I know what I need so I can jettison what is unnecessary
I’m less susceptible to stress (“This too shall pass”)
I no longer hold grudges (with the exception of Henry Kissinger and Dick Cheney both of whom I still believe should be tried for crimes against humanity)
I’ve learned to be more tolerant and patient
I have less ego stake in outcomes
I know there are many things that I will never do or do again and it doesn’t matter (start a new business, go to Myanmar, drive a Ferrari, learn to sail, get married, etc)

So, for me, there’s way more positives than negatives about being smack dab in the midst of oldness. But then, I have my health.

One more thing: There has never been a time in my 80 years when I have felt what I’m feeling today: utter terror that our country is being taken into a possible dictatorship, with a KGB-type intelligence/surveillence; that poor people, people of color, formerly well-paid blue collar working people, will never again be able to afford good schooling, a home, health care, freedom from violence and stress and that too many won’t even know it’s happening because they aren’t getting true news/facts.

2017 showed us—at least those of us who are still able and willing to access truthful news—that the threats to our democracy and to our environment are far worse than any of us dared imagine. The seeds of fascism are all around us.

So my plea to those who follow me on social media is to harness every ounce of your abilities, imagination and courage to do all that you can, in collaboration with others, to stop the destruction of Democracy and civil society. Join others in non-violent efforts not just to resist but to transform the social and political landscape. I am doing it by working with groups on the ground in various parts of the country who go door to door, finding out what people are worried about and helping them understand why those now in power do not intend to help them. Quite the opposite. There are so many people and organizations out there working to educate potential voters and to build long-term people’s movements with the aim of establishing a vibrant, democratic civil society. We must make it possible for single mothers to earn a living wage and have access to affordable child care; do away with mass incarceration and the privatization of prisons; sexual harassment and violence against women must end; former unionized workers must be retrained for the new economy and given jobs not promises; student debt must be forgiven and schools must be improved for all young people; our public lands must be protected and all forms of extraction halted; racism must be made a shameful (and acknowledged) part of our past. There is so much to be done and all of it is possible if all of us can muster the will and determination to fight back against what’s happening.

Greed and selfishness are not the pillars of a stable society so let’s be fierce in this New Year.

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  1. Jane, many years ago I shared a taxi with you from the Vassar Campus to the train station in Poughkeepsie. I was a freshman, you were a junior. You wouldn’t have known me, I was Lynn Henline then, but of course, everyone knew you!

    I was quite naïve then. In gym class, they were calling roll and said, “Rockefeller, Mary” and I thought, “That’s odd. My English class is in Rockefeller Hall. Hum.”

    Do you by chance remember Mr. Christie, the English teacher with a prosthetic hand covered with a white glove? it was 1959 and he was appalled that his students were so apathetic. There were sit ins at the Woolworths in Poughkeepsie but they might as well have been on Mars for all we cared. I even missed hearing Robert Frost when he came to campus because I had a test the next day.

    Like you, I have been married and divorced. I have been widowed, and remarried. Like you, I have become something of an activist. I was at Standing Rock, I closed my account at Wells Fargo., etc. I got arrested for protesting the First Gulf War. I participated in demonstrations with Ron Kubic, supported the Palestinians, and the like.

    However, I am writing to you now to thank you for the wonderful speech you recently gave on racism, from a white woman’s perspective. I have reposted it everywhere I can.

    There is currently a wonderful performance of Richard Wright’s Native Son in Glendale. I am quite sure you would as moved as I was.

    Thanks again, Jane. We have come to share so much more than a cab ride after all these years.
    But I

  2. Hi Miss Fonda, my name is Alejandra, I’m 18 years old and I want to thank you for inspiring me to workout, I used to hate exercising but thanks to your workout tapes I have lost a lot of weight and I feel so much better with myself and now I love working out . You have become a role model to me because you always stand for what you believe in. I want to be a great actress like you (btw I have seen almost all your movies, and your terrific in all of them! My favorite is Klute) is there any advice you can give me?. LOVE YOU SO MUCH! thanks for helping me to be a better person.
    PS: re watching Grace & Frankie and waiting for season 5!! (Best show ever)

    Greetings from Ecuador!

  3. Good evening Jane,

    I was listening to your comments about being 80 and your reflection on life. WOW! 80 is certainly serving you well. I also want to reflect to the first time I did your original workout in the 80’s. I was an overweight high school guy and dove right in. The pounds shed quickly. I knew you only as an actress and activist at that point (and also 9 to 5 was and/is one of my all time favorites). I learned to love your workouts and was so excited when the New and Improved Workout was released. As I was trying to identify with myself and loose weight, your workout was a comfort zone for me. I eventually purchased the vhs tapes once I saved up enough allowance money and added them to the mix. I met you briefly at a book signing in San Francisco while you were promoting My Life So Far. (fantastic book also). I wanted to tell you how much you have changed my life but didn’t have the opportunity. You have changed my life. I was going through some belongings a few weeks ago and prompted me to post this. I ran across letters from the Jane Fonda Workout as responses to letters I had written. I would write to the Workout in hopes of obtaining merchandise (which I did) and letting you know just how effective those workouts had been. My gym teacher asked “How did you loose all of that weight” (about 25 pounds) or so. I responded “Jane Fonda Workout”. She asked me to bring the tape to school ( I had the album and tape so in case one broke I would have back up). She said if it worked that well, the Physical Education classes would all be doing it too. You have truly been an inspiration to me! I appreciate all you do as an actress, activist, and fitness expert. As a fitness instructor, I hope that my class participants will have that same inspiration from me. I can only hope! To this day I still use some of the many Jane Fonda Workouts when I’m at home and just want a change to my workout or need to hear the comfort in your voice-it certainly brings back fond memories 30+ years later. Thank you, Jane.
    -John

    P.S. If you decide to do another fitness video, please count me in! I would be absolutely honored!

    Best-
    John

  4. ROLLING STONE, 5 July 1973:
    Paul Newman: “I think, say, Jane Fonda is probably a little more radical than I am, although not all that much. I suppose the main thing she and I have in common is that we are both fighters for certain causes, but at a particular point I got tired, and it’ll be interesting to find out if she does, too. It’ll be interesting to see how long her fire lasts.”
    I wish he was around now anyway, cinema and politics need him, but it would also have been fun to send him a telegram about this one timed to your 80th. “Well, Paul?”

  5. Jane, I seen Book Club tonight and LOVED it! You and the ladies were phenomenal, per usual! I imagine you have a lot of fun on any set, whether it’s for a movie or a tv show but which do you most enjoy making out of the two?

  6. Hi Jane,
    How are you? I’m only a little nervous but I’m fine, everything’s fine. Yes, hello. I totally didn’t write down what I wanted to say on paper first. But I totally did so I wouldn’t sound ridiculous, which I hope I don’t already. Anyway, I have a couple questions.
    1) Is there or has there been an actor or actress that you’ve worked with that intimidated you?
    2) What was the best piece of advice Katharine Hepburn gave you?
    3) I know I’m probably three years too late but, did you get to see Carol when it came out? If so, did you like it?
    I love your film and tv work along with your activism. As a lesbian, I’d like to thank you for being an activist for LGBT rights. Not only for LGBT rights, but for womens rights and an activist for all minorities. You’re actually the reason I’m thinking of becoming an activist at all. I hope you have a wonderful day! 🙂

  7. Dear Jane,
    You are the most amazing woman I have ever come across. I have so much love for you, you have helped me so much (I suffer terribly with anxiety and depression) just watching Grace and Frankie, or any of the movies you are in or any of your interviews just always calms me down and makes me feel a whole lot better. I got put on anti depressants a few weeks ago, it just got to that point where I needed that extra help and kick. I know a lot of people out there have it so much worse but life has been so hard, it isn’t easy for anyone but everyone handles things differently and last year I almost gave it all up and almost ended my own life but I got scared as one of my biggest fears is actually death and thought THIS IS NOT THE WAY and I couldn’t do it to my family & friends. Jane, you have taught me not to give up and how to be strong and to fight away the dark and horrible thoughts and not to be ashamed of my mental illnesses, I can’t thank you enough you don’t know how amazing you truly are. I have ordered your book My Life So Far and I can’t wait to read it I have been told it is brilliant and I don’t doubt that one bit and also Being a Teen. I will be getting Prime Time next. I really hope you see this, I had some trouble for a while trying to create an account on here but some other Jane Fonda fans helped me out on Twitter now I here I am! Also again because of you I have made such wonderful friends online I have just been so happy recently, happiest I have ever been. I love you so much.
    Huge thanks again.
    Love, Georgia xxx
    P.S will you be coming back to the UK again in the future? I am from Wales and I would really like to meet you one day, would be a dream come true!

    • Hi Georgia! My name is Colleen, I work at Matador Content, a production company in Los Angeles and I’m currently working on a docu-series about iconic leaders who have inspired people to overcome adversity and accomplish amazing things, and one of our episodes will feature Jane Fonda. I’d love to talk to you about what you wrote in this comment. My email is colleen@matadorcontent.com if you’d like to hear more. Thanks!

  8. Hi, Jane!

    I know this probably isn’t gonna have to do anything with this blog, but first, I just wanna say, wow! You look so good at 80!
    I just wanted to tell you that I talk to you about my friends all the time, as weird of that sounds. I do it because you make me one of the happiest people, even though we’ve never met. You are such an inspiration to me. Every time someone has something negative to say about you, I give them many reasons why there’s no reason to be negative about you.
    I have a quotation, there’s this girl, named Melissa (she commented on this blog as well) & I think I may be catching feelings for her. The thing is, we’re in two different states, & have never met. What do you think is the best thing to do?
    I hope I ge the chance to meet you, soon!
    By the way I act like Grace Hanson. So I guess you can say I’m a mini Grace Hanson! Just not pretty like her. Have a wonderful night, & remember I love you with all my heart!

  9. Question* so sorry!

  10. Jane, this is my humble opinion: if you moderate it, there is no problem, your blog is like your home, you accept what you want in it, social network are another thing and there the people can say you what they think and feel and their opinions they are very valid, but here in your home, you can decide what is published and what is not. I love you

  11. Jane.
    Is there some places you’d like to visit that you haven’t visited yet? Please come to Norway, your fangirl would LOVE to meet you!
    With Love
    Elise xx

  12. Hi Jane, i’m Bel, a 15 year old girl from Brazil.. I’m a big fan of yours, you’re my biggest inspiration, my favorite show is Grace And Frankie, and your movie “Our Souls At Night”, my biggest dream is to meet you someday… I tried to kill myself many times bcz i’m depressed, (im sorry about that) and your shows are helping me to handle it, so thank you so much about that! You were there for me when no one wasn’t. Thank you xx

  13. Dear Jane,
    You said that you were intimidated by working with Marlon, that was in The Chase, what’s your strongest memory about that experience? I know you had more scenes with Redford in that film, but still I bet you hang with the cast and the crew on the set. I wonder have you ever discussed with Brando about his mother and her influence on your fathers acting path? Marlon was a complex as a person, what do you think about him in general?
    Also I wanted to ask you about another actor you worked with. Anthony Perkins you two were so cute as a couple in Tall Story. What was he like?

  14. I loved seeing you play “Nora” in A dolls house. Such a great movie. I remember I read the book (a couple of years ago) which is called “Ett dukkehjem” in norwegian. I’m so glad you liked Roros and you spelled it just perfectly. I also read an article where you told that you’ve visited Sweden a couple of times and Norway once. You stood up during the Swedish election campaign. I wished I was alive then so we’d be in the same country. It makes me so happy as a fan to see your answers. Thank you Jane!

    Sending lots of love from Norway xx

  15. I just must tell you that you are with me every other day of the week with my Weight Workout video! I am 72 years old with the strength and energy of a woman 2 decades younger, thanks to the Jane Fonda videos! I had been faithfully exercising with you ever since I first came across the Lean fitness video in 1993 when a friend of mine from Stockholm gifted me with one. She, and
    other girls at our workplace exercised with me 3 or more times a week – a heaven sent because I had fought to stay fit since then. Consequently, gaining reliable leg strength and balance had prevented me from several “would-have-been” accidents if not for my Jane Fonda workouts and aerobics sessions that have ‘centered’ me and have strengthened my core. I have escaped many ‘falls’ and I always say “thank you Jane ” each time. I want to thank you personally, and I am planning on living to a 100 and declaring your name on my 100th birthday. More power to you my forever fitness ‘guru’ and digital pal, dearest Jane Fonda! You are, and always will be my fitness and strength touchstone.

  16. Hi Jane,
    I’m a fan from way back, and I just turned 61! I live in NY and still like to “feel the burn”…
    I love your new series on Netflix, Gracie and Frankie, it’s so much fun to watch and brings me so much joy! Gracie loves her cocktails, and so do I, and I was wondering do you like to drink alcohol in your real life? I think it’s good in moderation.
    Also, are you in monogamous relationship? I am, but I’m not sure if I want to move with him right now, he is 71 years of age, even though that is what he wants.
    Anyway, please keep up the great work, I find everything you do so inspiring.
    Thank you. Carol S. xoxoxoxo

  17. Hello Jane !
    I’ve always been a fan of yours . I didn’t know about your blog until a few minutes ago and I’m so glad to read all your thoughts . I’m especially thankful that you take time to write and encourage us, your followers , of all ages to not just love your work as an actor but as a humanitarian , an activist and a health enthusiast. I’m a 34-year-old mother of one who just started a small business a year and a half ago and going through my days like most immigrants do in this country . What encouraged me to write this letter to you is that you expressed you want to visit Myanmar ~ my native country ! It is a beautiful country , Jane and no matter how it has been portrayed by different news outlets , one thing has never changed ~ we enjoy good films with strong femal lead and you have been one of our all-time favorite actor . So if you ever decide to take a break from your busy schedule and visit across the globe , me and hundreds of thousands of your fans are there to welcome you warmly and offer the best hospitality that we can only imagine of offering . Just remember to visit in December or January so that you won’t get too overwhelmed with heat and humidity 🙂 Last but not least , I would like to applaud you for your dedication to stay in such great shape , both physically and mentally . When my girlfriends told me that you’re 80 a few days ago after we had the best laugh of the year watching Book Club, I was really shocked .You’re in better shape than most of us combine so that alone should be our incentive to start working on healthier , happier diet and workout routine . You are an inspiration Jane . I’m sure you have days where you feel your age (I feel three times my age quite often!!) but the fact that you are embracing everything that comes with it just shows how important it is to stay alive and celebrate life with all its beauty and scars. Thank you for being the symbol of strength for many of us . With every flaw that I have , I will live life to the fullest because you have taught us through your work that it is worth it .

  18. Hi Jane!
    My sister took me to see Book Club last night. Laughed, cried (teary-eyed here and there is more like it) .. Loved it!
    Together my sister and I have also watched Frankie&Grace .. all seasons available so far. Its our thing 🙂
    I am a 53 year old woman that has probably twice your wrinkles .. and I was honestly shocked just now to see that you are 80 years old! (I love your work but don’t do a whole lot of celebrity research so was unaware). I don’t know if you’ve had any work done but wouldn’t surprise me if you had not, you are that natural.
    I also just read your blog on racism. I am of Metis decent but appear very much only white .. blue eyes and all. My fiance is very black.
    I say “very” black, because his skin is very dark and the darker the skin the more racism experienced in his own country (Jamaica) projected by lighter skinned people (brown). What has shocked me the most is how public it is .. even in the school system. “If you’re black you’re held back, if you’re brown you can stick around, if you’re white, everything is all right” is a well known phrase there.
    I think of you and try to draw strength and inspiration to do more.
    To quit smoking so I can stop the wrinkles.
    To exercise to look and feel better so I can live a much longer, productive life .. to keep up with my grandchildren and be around to love them and my future husband (he’s 11 years younger by the way .. we’ve been together 4.5 years. Still spending much too much time apart .. me in Canada, he in Jamaica).
    And to join SOMETHING to help in the struggle against racism .. I say join as I am more a follower than a leader, rather than just sit here and think to myself how terrible it is.
    So, thank you Jane .. for all that you share with us.
    May you fulljoy your life and all it has to offer!
    I intend on being around until I’m 97, so I best get started!
    Any words of wisdom for me would be most welcome!
    Love, Dee

  19. Jane, Thank you for the book recommendations, if there’s any more you come across I would love to hear about them! I find myself not being able to put them down, speeding through them, and looking for more beyond the ones you listed. I have learned so much, it just blows my mind how ignorant I was to this huge issue and I find myself sparking conversations with friends, strangers, anyone who will listen, really. Thank you for bringing it to my attention!
    Two days ago was World Eating Disorder Action Day, have you heard of this? I didn’t even know such a thing existed until roughly 15 minutes ago. (I guess I’m out of the loop?) I feel as though eating disorders are very overlooked and ignored, at least from my experience. I work with juvenile girls, most who have problems with eating disorders, self harming, and so on. I don’t think kids get enough access to information and recourses to help them through these things, like I didn’t. I help my girls in the ways I know how and in the ways I’m trained and taught, but I also tell them about you, your strength, how despite it all you still smile brighter than anyone I have ever know. They are in love with your fearlessness and your resilience, as am I.
    I hope you had a marvelous weekend and have a wonderful week. xx Sienna

  20. Dear Jane,

    I want to simply THANK GOD and THANK YOU for having the opportunity to be alive at the same time as you, because I am learning so much from your vision on life. I am a person who also lives in the present, but I am so much more contaminated by your enthusiasm of living in the very PRESENT moment, no matter the age.

    I don’t know yet how am I going to feel when I’ll be in my 80s (as I am planning to :D), but I know for sure that now that I am in my almost 40s I will not go back in my 20s for nothing in the world. Now I am feeling so much more alive and closer to whom I really am. I am so much happier and focused on life’s miracles.

    I LOVE YOU for being so open, authentic and so transparent and also honest about how you think and feel inside. You are such a beautiful soul, inside and outside. Please, keep on doing what you are already doing, because you are such an inspiring woman!!!

    All my love all away from Romania,
    from one Sagittarius to another one 🙂 <3,

    PS. I've just watched Our souls at night two days ago and … "chapeau bas" for the whole acting!

  21. Jane, i love watching you and Lily on Grace and Frankie. It makes me laugh every day and i have not laughed in a long time so thank you both. I am on season 3 and hope you and Netflix keep the show going .
    I heard season 5 is in production and so happy to hear that. Thank you all for a great show that address Seniors and their realitys in life. Take care wish you all well.
    Robin

  22. Mrs. Fonda,
    I am a huge fan of you and your family. How did you end up being versatile at your age? Do you have any advice for teens out there? P.S, you were born on the same day Disney elevated Snow White and the 7 Dwarves.

  23. Dear Ms Fonda. I have recently discovered you through Grace and Frankie and have come to respect and admire your courage, intelligence and resilience. I had become withdrawn from life following my husband’s passing but after watching many of your interviews and then your Five Acts I felt that I can still contribute in some way. You have also through your exercise programs inspired me to take care of myself. Thank you. Anna.

  24. Hi Jane, You are an inspiration! A belated Happy Birthday. I am comforted by your Grace and Frankie show. Thank you ( and Lilly).
    Your recent special -The Femanists – on Netflix was right on the mark and incredibly validating. I am 66 and as a young woman, although my professions were different than yours, I lived through much of the same as you-as all of us woman did. I appreciate hearing your voice in the telling of this very personal history.
    Take Care,
    Dallas
    Oregon

  25. Hi Jane, my name is Aila
    I deeply admire you both as an actress and as a profoundly involved human being who’s gone through so much in life. I’m half way through your book ‘My life so far’ and all I can say is that I find it inspiring and a real eye opener, it makes me want to go over my life – I’m 55 –
    Thank you so much for sharing yr experiences and helping so many other individuals
    Xxx

  26. Thanks Jane
    I have just started reading Prime Time!
    Xxx

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